This last week, I worked in the ER. Well, I'm psyched because I get to do all kinds of exciting things in the ER...like save lives! Well, one of our "emergent" patients came in with a very dangerous condition....a butt boil. We're not talking just any butt boil, but a spread-the-cheeks-dig-deep-to-lance-that-sucker butt boil. So, the Dr. is doing his thing with the scalpel, and I stand dutifully at his side to hand him instruments. He lances the boil and decided that there's still more goo in there, so he applies firm pressure. The butt boil freaking SQUIRTS out three feet, straight towards my round ass! If I hadn't had the quick reflexes of a jungle cat (albeit a pregnant jungle cat), I would have been covered in butt boil juice!
Needless to say, butt boil guy felt much better. That's right, people. Just a lone ER nurse, saving lives.....one butt boil at a time.
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